Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Short Story 2/24- Biased



Moist tissues littered the floor surrounding the trashcan. Bloodstains pierced her clothes and knuckles. Heavy tears dripped down their cheeks.
“What exactly happened?” Mr. Dennis, the vice principal said to the ragged girls sitting in his office. “Tell me from the top, Jade.”
“That PIG and her friends tried to take over my play,” one of the other girls said with a look of hatred in her eyes. “ Then they jumped us.”
“That is the furthest from the truth.” Jade rolled her eyes and mumbled.
“Let her finish.”  Mr. Dennis said this calmly; but he was searching through his desk for the six clipboards. He knew from the beginning this would happen, but the girls insisted that they were mature enough to tell their sides of the story. They weren’t.
  Jade marveled, “Why don’t you let us tell it separately? The others can go in another room while I tell my side, then we can take turns.”
“Fine by me,” the other girls murmured in agreement, three of them agreed behind snarls. They filed out one behind the other, pushing and shoving on another lightly. If you were there, you would find this to be a very funny sight. The girls were still weak from the fight and beginning to run out of steam- their attempts at revenge were very poor.
Shaking his head, Mr. Dennis redirected his attention to Jade. “You were saying?” As Jade began her story, Mr. Dennis almost felt as though he was there, watching the action. It was pretty surreal.
“Well, “said Jade, deep in thought. “The others and me were all trying out for the school play. Michele wanted the lead role, but she couldn’t get through her head that she could never beat me. But, that’s beside the point. She was doing her solo for the tryouts, and I tripped over one of the chords. It spilled a container of paint- that was fortunately closed- and it fell with a huge BOOM.”
While Jade was rambling on, Dennis could tell that he wouldn’t have a lunch break today. Jade’s story was pretty biased, and after meeting Michele, so would her’ s be. The other girls were obviously unimportant to the story; they just jumped into the brawl.
“Mr. Dennis? Mr. Dennis,” Jade said, looking worried at him. “Are you okay?”
“Huh? Oh, yes! Jade continue your story. I’m listening.” Mr. Dennis said.  The rest of the story was as you’d assume: Jade was the hero. According to her, she’d apologized for ruining Michele’s performance, and she was so mean that she yelled at her. Jade asked her nicely to stop yelling, and Michele pushed her. After that, a fight was guaranteed. Whether that was all true or not, Mr. Dennis was not sure. Whether it was stretched or not, Dennis was positive.
After Jade was done, Dennis called Michele in. Then, after a few dirty looks were exchanged, Michele sat down.
“I don’t know what she told you,” the girly girl said as she smacked on her gum. “But, I’M going to tell you the truth. I was at my audition, right? I was blowing everyone out of the water. I was great and the lady said so. Then, all of a sudden, out of the corner of my eye, I saw that wrecker get up and throw something. She tried to ruin my performance!

To be continued!!!!

2 comments:

  1. Its a very nice and relate able story. I liked how you described the setting in the beginning, making it seem realistic. I would recommend to elaborate more on each character when you continue the story. I think it would also be nice for Mr. Dennis to have heart attack or something lol!

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  2. This is a very relatable story and I enjoyed reading it. Funny enough I was thinking along the same lines as Jasmina. Like, what if while Mr. Dennis was off in thought he had a stroke or something in front of a student? Craziness. The story is well made (although not done yet), readable, enjoyable, and only a few minor errors in grammar and punctuation (nothing too big, but watch out in the future!). Finishing the story would definitely build the characters a little more, too. Keep it up!
    18/20

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